"Mothers the greatest gift you can give a child is to respect their father"
~ Mr. Sharles Johnson
Successful Father! or Significant Father!
Successful father is another label men sit back and accept. Fatherhood is not a job and success is not based on jumping through social hoops. Jefferson County Colorado brochure has a gentlemen saying he is a "successful father". I have never met a guy who introduce himself as a "successful" father.
What we have seen and hear about is a common practice to remove the father and then manipulate the mother by threats and then present it as "all in the best interests." Men are natural protectors, if some are not then there is a problem. I don't know any man in a relationship that just lets people run over his partner.
In the Lords prayer we do not say "Our Successful Father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name, thy will be done and your successes be done".
Why do we not hear the terms "successful" mother? I have spoken with and met a number of people who have had their mother not be "successful" and their father had stepped up. To group all men as the same would that not be prejudice!!
Success when it comes to parenting should be based on goals. Would that not be called "performance" or a case plan?
I am not a successful father, that sounds like a business.
"Mike" in Jefferson County, Colorado's brochures says “I am a successful father who has been on your side." That's a gender stereotype and it's sad to hear a man brain washed. I've never been around men who have told me about their families and called themselves "successful" fathers. That's a treatment word.
Are fathers successful because they do "treatment plans?" I beg to differ.
I knew who I was and had a STRONG sense of self. This did not sit well with the Jefferson County Human Services in Colorado. I wouldn't admit to being someone I wasn't. I am Dad, Father, Parent, friend, referee, counselor, spiritual leader etc. I had to teach that to Jefferson County Human Services Colorado.
Fathers need to model that to the counties and communities they are involved in.
On many a fathers tombstone you will read about their character. I am sure "successful" will not be in the description.
For me being a father is who I am NOT what I do. I didn't need that "affirmation" from any person, "contracted care" or case worker. Some if not most look through warped and stereotypical perceptions.
We are to define ourselves by what's on the inside, not based on a series of accomplishments. So if you accomplish nothing then you are not a father? If you fail or you not a father.
The other day I asked my kids "Why do I love them? They both answered because "I am your son!" "I am your daughter" This relationship is not defined by my "successes." It's because of our relationship.
This should make us wonder what type of relationships the "experts" and "professionals" have had from their own fathers.
You can gauge a lot about those relationships based on their interactions with you.
Fathers have gotten a bad stereotype. Sitcoms and television don't help. Wouldn't social services be the proper place to confront these stereotypes? They are suppose to be servants of all in society.
Remember the show "Father knows best." "The Brady Bunch" " Good times". Then in the 80's came Eight is enough, the Cosby show, Married with children, in the 90's there was...In 2000 and on, we have....
The role and view of the father has been defined. Social Services interacts based on there stereotypes. It doesn't hurt a father to not be around his children, Right?
Now about your children
Your Daughter:
1. Every relationships she has with a man will be filtered through you.
2. Daughters can be emotionally impulsive it's the fathers job to respectfully help her keep that in check, you can do that better than her mother.
3. 65 percent of teen daughters say their fathers influence their decision on becoming sexually active.
4. They need all of your courage, strength, intelligence and self-confidence.
5. Talking with her is most important.
6. Mothers let me point out how you SPEAK to their father is how they will relate with the husband or partner.
7. The way you speak to her is the type of man she will gravitate towards.
With all of this and more needing to be said, why is it that a father is court ordered out of the house and things not investigated? This sets the daughter down a spiral and puts unnecessary things into their relationship. All of this is in the best interests right? .
Fathers we need to be around and make sure they don't end up like the very evil we have come in contact with.
Its a sick assumption to some who think a mother is a better parent than a father. It took two and it takes two.
Sons:
1. They carry your "Y" chromosome that goes back through ALL the males in YOUR lineage.
2. You model to them the men they will become both good and bad.
3. How you relate to the world around, sets the tone for them.
4. How you treat their mother is how they will treat women.
5. Show them how to defend themselves respectfully and tactfully.
“Two hundred years ago, society was more agrarian and fathers were highly involved in the affairs of their children,” Horn says. “Men primarily farmed and hunted so they tended to be in the home more. Socially, they were seen as the provider, moral guide and teacher of the children. If their kids grew up to be prosperous adults, it was seen as a reflection on the father. As the industrial era began, fathers spent more time away from home and their role came to be more strictly defined as that of the provider. At this time, American mothers took on the social role of raising the family. Baby Boomers like to think they invented the concept of 'involved fatherhood,' but really, fathers have participated significantly in their children’s lives for most of human history.”
Part of the reason many fathers are more involved in their children’s lives today is due to the fact that women have moved into the work force. In fact, both parents work in more than half (13.8 million) of the two-parent families in America.
“In the '50s, when men were the primary breadwinners, the responsibilities of the man and woman were divided between work and home,” Horn says. “As more women joined their male partners in the work force, it became increasingly important that the domestic workload, including the raising of the children, was more evenly distributed.”
Not
surprisingly, economic factors play a distinctive role in a father’s ability to
spend more time with his children. The frequency with which parents participate
in their children’s activities increases as the household income rises. This is
somewhat due to the fact that corporations are adopting more family-oriented
work arrangements for their employees, and because, in the digital age, more
dads telecommute.
The Good,
The Bad and The Lucky
In a Dallas Morning News poll, 75 percent of the fathers said they would
trade rapid career advancement for more time with their kids, and the number of
dads present at their children’s births has risen from 27 percent in 1974 to
nearly 90 percent today.
There’s no doubt that children benefit greatly from having increased interaction with their fathers. Numerous observational studies indicate that children exhibit better cognitive abilities when their fathers are “highly engaged” during the developmental stages of life.
R.D. Parke, author of "Fatherhood," concludes that this is because kids receive a greater amount of tactile stimulation from their dads. “Fathers are more likely to physically interact with their children when they play,” Parke says. “They tend to be more ‘rough and tumble,’ where mothers are more verbal and toy-mediated in their interaction. Clearly, infants and young children experience not only more stimulation from their fathers, but a qualitatively different and highly stimulatory pattern.”
Studies show that youth rely more on their fathers for factual information and look to their mothers for day-to-day care and emotional support. A survey of 20,000 families, conducted by the National Center for Education Statistics, shows that children are twice as likely to receive A's in school when their fathers are involved in their education.F
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Fathers are not to be labeled "Successful" save that for Wall Street and Social Services.
Fathers are SIGNIFICANT. This goes against the grain of how men are treated in a "Social Service Tsunami". We have great importance and even greater significance.